Are you aware that within intercultural contexts, all of us listen with cultural ears? In other words, how we interpret what is being said or written has been culturally conditioned. Therefore, as speakers and writers we have to take more responsibility for the listening side of communication within intercultural business contexts.

In our own culture, there is less need for vigilance. That is not because we know the language better but because we have other cues, such as voice tonality, body language and shared values, which help us navigate the imprecise waters of words. Even in our own culture and native language, miscommunication takes place when what was said and what was heard do not match.

I find that the interpretative nature of listening is something many of my clients habitually fail to factor into their speaking and writing. Even when they are familiar with the principle of keeping the listener in mind, they do not know how to do that directly when speaking and writing in English for intercultural contexts. As one client told me, “I knew the concept of including the benefits for my listeners but I realize now I always said too little, too late.” So here are three questions to ask and answer before communicating with colleagues from other cultures.

1) How is what I am communicating relevant to my listener?

Whatever you are saying or writing means nothing in isolation. It is only in relation to what your listeners or readers want, need, fear or desire that your communication becomes relevant. All of us are used to asking the question, “What do I want to say?” Few of us also ask, “What is relevant to the listener or reader?”

If you do not take the time to decide what is relevant and then articulate that, what will motivate others to keep listening or reading? This is especially vital when communicating interculturally, since you cannot take for granted that people from other cultures share your assumptions about relevance.

While at first this can seem too complex an issue to deal with, I have shown client after client that they know a lot more about their listeners and readers than they realize. In fact, they become aware that they have already observed many of the things that I ask them to notice, when I show them how to apply step two of my five-step CLEAR method: link to your listener’s concerns. It is important to articulate explicitly what is relevant to the listener or reader. Why? Because within intercultural contexts only explicit communication makes it safely to the other side of the two-way street that I call intercommunication.

2) Am I clearly expressing what I mean?

This seems like a simple question. But it isn’t always easy to answer, because I find that my clients are not clear enough about what they mean to say. And if they do not know clearly what they mean, how can they expect the listener or reader to know? Indeed, it is a common mistake to put far too much responsibility for clarity onto others.

Before working with me, my clients’ focus is usually on giving their listeners and readers as much as they can say or write in the available time or space. In return, they expect a lot from those listeners and readers. First, they expect them to listen to and read everything in the communication. Second, they expect their listeners and readers to do the work of interpreting exactly what they mean.

When it becomes obvious that those two things did not happen, my clients usually conclude that their own English is not good enough. And if they are already native English speakers, they conclude that the English of the listeners or readers is not good enough.

What is missing from such conclusions is that, regardless of English competence, too many of us within intercultural business contexts are being unrealistic in our expectations of our listeners and readers. Due to time pressures, no one can listen to and read everything.  And if you are not taking care to be as clear and concise as you can be, I guarantee others will not be motivated to do it for you.  

3) Are you misinterpreting your listener’s or reader’s response to what you say or write?

Spoken or written words are not the only response you get from listeners and readers. People also respond in a variety of tones of voice, body language and sentence structures. Those tones, body language and structures are what I call the dance of language and are part of every communication, in every culture.

No matter what language is being used, you are always interpreting the dance from your own cultural point of view. But within an intercultural context, who has the ‘right’ interpretation? A vocal tone that is heard as negative in one culture may be positive in another. A gesture or facial expression that is interpreted as openness in one culture may appear closed in another. A sentence structure that signals collaboration in one culture may be seen as too authoritative in another. And so on.

Similar things happen during a phone call or while reading an email. During a phone call, interpreting body language is replaced by interpreting only the tone of voice. In an email you also interpret tonality, even if it is impossible to know what tone the sender actually intended. For example, have you ever noticed yourself reacting positively to what you interpret as a friendly, relaxed tone on the phone or in an email? On the other hand, how do you react to what you interpret as a disrespectful or unfriendly tone? Even with longer documents, such as a report or a proposal, you interpret and respond in similar ways.

I recommend that you refrain from interpreting your listener’s or reader’s dance, and practice responding only to the content in the communication. I help my clients do that by focusing on the speech act that is being expressed. When you know how to simplify communication in that way, you can be the one helping, rather than hindering, intercultural communication. You gradually become someone who listens with intercultural ears and sees with intercultural eyes. Then you can take concrete steps to improve how your colleagues from other cultures hear you.

Practicing these three steps, on a regular basis, will fundamentally change how you communicate in English as a foreign language with colleagues from other cultures. The result will be reduced frustration, increased confidence and more cooperation.

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Over the years of working within intercultural businesses, I have observed how people transfer their habitual ways of communicating when using English, either as a native or foreign language, to intercultural business contexts. I have also observed that, regardless of what culture we come from, when we experience problems in communication, many of us are not entirely comfortable or satisfied. However, we don’t know what to do differently.

In all my products and services, I help my clients to take very specific action to learn a different way of communicating. My aim is always to help them increase effective action and satisfaction for both them and their listeners and readers. As one client said to me recently at the end of our sessions together, “As long as you keep the other person’s concerns in mind, then you are always communicating effectively.” Exactly. My CLEAR method is as much an attitude as a process.

I am also always on the lookout for others who have similar intentions and offer processes for approaching this age-old human dilemma of how to work together more harmoniously. A client recently introduced me to the approach of Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent Communication. For the past 40 years Rosenberg has been working with people around the world with the intention of having words be windows, rather than walls. In the video below, which includes French subtitles, he explains the basics of his Nonviolent Communication process at the beginning of one of his workshops.

Rosenberg has also worked as a mediator in countries such Israel, Palestine, Northern Ireland, Ireland, Brazil, Russia, Rwanda, Burundi, Nigeria, Sri Lanka, Serbia and Croatia. Here is a video of him recounting some of his experiences.

His message, like mine, is that regardless of our culture we can find common ground by learning to use language differently. I remain convinced that all of us can practice using language to build more bridges and fewer walls

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My claim is that when we are obliged to use English for business, we do not see that everyone is bringing his or her own cultural communication style to how the English is actually used. Everything I do is aimed at showing people what to adapt and how. In what follows are three simple things you can do to quickly improve how you communicate with colleagues from other cultures.

1: Tell your listener or reader how what you are communicating is relevant to them.

How is what you are saying or writing relevant to your listener? Your communication, whatever it is, means nothing in isolation. It is only in relation to what your listeners or readers want, need, fear or desire that your communication becomes relevant. All of us are used to asking the question, “What do I want to say?” But few of us also ask, “What is relevant to the listener or reader?”

I recommend that you take the time to decide why what you are communicating is relevant and then to tell that to your listener or reader. That will motivate them to keep listening or reading. This is especially important when communicating interculturally, since you cannot take for granted that people from other cultures share your assumptions about relevance.

2: Keep your communication short, simple and direct.

Too many of us within intercultural business contexts are being unrealistic in our expectations of our listeners and readers. Do you expect a lot from your listeners and readers?

First, do you expect them to listen to and read everything that you communicate? Due to time pressures no one can listen to, and read, everything.

Second, do you expect them to understand complex explanations and recommendations? Intercultural contexts are not the place to demonstrate an extensive vocabulary, thoroughness and nuanced reasoning.

Short, simple and direct is a better formula than long, complex and indirect.

3: Tell your listeners or readers why they should trust you.

If your listeners and readers do not trust you, they will stop listening and reading. We typically build our identities and inspire trust by the actions others see us taking, day in and day out. However, often within intercultural business contexts we have to communicate with people who do not work with us regularly or who do not know us. Despite this, we expect them to trust us. But you cannot expect trust to be given automatically, especially within intercultural contexts.

Nothing undermines trust more than unclear communication. That is why the priority cannot be to simply “speak English better.” Rather, it has to be communicating as clearly and concisely as possible, so that we can understand each other better. I am convinced that without understanding, there can be no trust. Without trust, there is less cooperation and more conflict.

So, regardless of the purpose of any single communication, your objective for all written and spoken communication should always be to lay the foundations for mutual trust.

I am convinced that it is within everyone’s power to improve how they communicate in English as a second language with their colleagues from other cultures. I encourage you to be the one leading the way.

Sherwood Fleming is the originator of the five-step CLEAR method for improving intercultural communication.

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For example, my clients often tell me that something is missing for them when they use English at work. Specifically, they find it difficult to express their opinions in meetings, presentations and written reports. They do not know what to do to feel more competent and confident in these situations. Or they find it difficult to coordinate action with people from other cultures in a harmonious and effortless way. They might also find it difficult to build trust and cooperation. My clients often believe that the solution to these difficulties is to further increase their vocabulary and master more verb tenses. But when they’ve tried this and eventually realized that this approach was not the answer, they became discouraged. They did not know what else to do. They never thought of improving their intercultural communication skills.

Rarely does anyone think of asking themselves two fundamental questions that I help each of my clients answer. First: “How do you communicate?” Second: “How do you need to change how you communicate when you use English as a second language within an intercultural business context?” Asking those questions inevitably leads to observing something that all cultures share but that we all ignore — how we speak and listen.

When using your native language within your own culture, there is no urgent need to be aware of how you speak and listen. Language is like the air you breathe; not only do you not pay any attention to it, you are probably satisfied with how you communicate. It is unlikely that you would think of trying to improve your communication skills. These skills are competences in speaking, writing and listening that you have learned over your lifetime. At any point you can decide to take specialized training to expand your skills. But not many people think of doing that.

So it is not surprising that it would not occur to you to improve your intercultural communication skills. Even if you did think of that, what steps would you take to improve? Finally, how would you measure the degree to which your efforts were successful?

As with many of my clients, you no doubt currently judge your English speaking and listening skills by using a measurement of grammar and vocabulary. In other words, you are using the same measurement that you apply to your native language. But is that an appropriate measurement for a second language?

How many years have you spent mastering your native language? In contrast, how many years have you devoted to mastering English? You use your native language most of the time. Compare that to how often you use English. So does it make sense to measure your competence in both languages the same way?

After all, if perfect grammar and a huge vocabulary were the only requirements for good communication, there would be no miscommunication between people of the same culture and language. I am a Canadian, who before moving to France trained thousands of native Anglophone speakers how to improve their communication skills. I know from this first-hand experience that communicating well is based on criteria other than just fluency in a language.

Building Your Awareness of Communicating Interculturally

That is what motivated me to develop a new measure for those using English as a second language within an intercultural business context. And to develop a new method for dealing with the unique communication challenges an intercultural context brings to both speakers and listeners. That is why everything on this site, and all the services I provide, is aimed at building your awareness of the unique challenges posed by communicating interculturally. I also provide a broad range of concrete actions tailored to show you how to solve your specific intercultural communication challenges: audits, seminars and one-on-one intercultural communication training.

The priority cannot be to simply “speak English better.” Rather, it has to be communicating as clearly and concisely as possible, so that we can understand each other better.

Why is that important? I am convinced that without understanding, there can be no trust. Without trust, there can be no cooperation. And without cooperation, there is no future. From my point of view, we build our futures together in the words we exchange today.

50 Actions you can take to enhance your interecultural communication skills

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Meetings are a good example of this. Dissatisfaction with meetings is nothing new. In my twenty years as a business communication coach and trainer in Canada and France, I have heard the same opinion expressed repeatedly: “Meetings are a waste of time.” However, within intercultural business contexts, when people use English as a foreign language, I often hear a different opinion: “Intercultural meetings in English are so difficult.” In the first case, people often blame others. In the second case, people typically blame themselves. My clients usually conclude that, “If I knew English better, meetings wouldn’t be so difficult.” But the truth is that even native English speakers find intercultural business meetings challenging.

As my clients discover, the confusion is not caused by the lack of vocabulary and grammar but from a more fundamental problem that is easily remedied but rarely explored — the structure of meetings themselves. Is there an alternative to the topic-based agenda for meetings and the chronological manner in which meeting recaps are written? I believe there is.

First, what is common to most meetings? They include some or all of the following: an exchange of opinions; asking for or offering future actions to be taken; promising to take those actions; and sometimes declaring future directions. That is why I recommend that my clients structure their intercultural meetings based on the five speech acts common to all languages: opinions, requests, offers, promises and declarations.

Second, during most meetings the five speech acts are typically all jumbled together. But when speech acts are not clearly defined, people get lost. The metaphor I use is that people feel like they are swimming in a sea of words. Or as one of my seminar participants said more dramatically, “I feel like I am drowning in a sea of words,” before asking if I could save him. During intercultural meetings many experience that sinking feeling of being overwhelmed and wish someone would throw them a life saver ring.

Third, I also show my clients how to be clear and complete when using each speech act, or speech stream as I call it, to continue with my water metaphor. What I find repeatedly is that, regardless of our culture, most of us make incomplete requests and offers. We confuse declarations with promises. We do not know how to express our opinions simply and persuasively.

My intercultural communication seminars, and my recent book Dance of Opinions, focus on how to master using speech acts in English clearly, concisely and confidently. That is important because they are the building blocks, not only of human communication, but more importantly of human coordination of action. While we have all been conditioned by our cultures to use speech streams in a certain way, we are not aware of it. Because of our lack of awareness, we do not know how to adapt speech acts effectively to intercultural business contexts such as meetings.

By becoming aware of how to use the universal language of speech acts more effectively, we can save ourselves — and each other — from the challenges inherent in intercultural business contexts. Speech acts are something we all know… but do not know that we know. Sometimes the best solution to a communication problem, such as ineffective meetings, is to go back to basics, as shown below.

Structuring Intercultural Meetings on Speech Acts

When speech acts form the structure, the agenda of a meeting can then look like this:

1.        Declarations – vision for a possible future

2.        Opinions – points of view of what is, and is not, the best course of action

3.        Requests – who has to do what, by what time and by what standards

4.        Offers – who has offered to do what, by what time and by what standards.

5.        Promises – who has promised to do what, by what time and by what standards

Meeting recaps can also then be written by using this structure. The names of participants can be featured prominently, so they only have to read the parts that are relevant to them.

When my clients are not in a position to implement this kind of meeting structure, I recommend that they say simple sentences or phrases before a speech act to help guide their listeners. For example, they can say, “I have a request/offer,” or “Here is my promise/opinion/declaration.” When I work with intercultural teams I encourage everyone to use those introductory phrases and to structure team meetings in this way, which makes it easier to follow discussions in English.

Implementing such a speech act structure either directly or indirectly during intercultural meetings means that everyone is then navigating the sea of words in the same way. As a result, cultural differences float away as comprehension increases. And cries of “Man overboard!” become increasingly rare.

50 Actions you can take to enhance your interecultural communication skills

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It’s important to keep in mind that change is always a choice and requires the following four skills:

1. That you can see what you could not see. Why? Because you cannot change what you cannot see.

2. That you know what is and what is not open to change. Why? Because you cannot change what is not open to change.

3. That you choose what you want to change and what you do not want to change. Why? Because then you can focus your efforts.

4. That you know what to practice so that change happens. Why? Because change is not a destination, it is a process.

I have addressed each one of these in my series of actions that you can take to improve your intercultural communication. So if you really want to go beyond a superficial conversation about adapting to your current intercultural business, I invite you to start here.

50 Actions you can take to enhance your interecultural communication skills

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We react differently to what we hear, depending on how we interpret the tone of voice and body language used by the speaker. For example, an opinion or request expressed in a loud voice with many gestures can be interpreted very differently than the same opinion or request expressed quietly, with a few gestures. The cultural background of the listener plays a large role in determining whether a loud voice and animated body language will be interpreted positively or negatively. On the one hand, this could be interpreted as dynamic and enthusiastic. On the other, it could be interpreted as aggressive and authoritarian. A quiet voice can be judged as polite or weak, calm or indifferent. More importantly, how we interpret tone and body language influences to what degree we are willing to consider the other person’s opinion or respond to his or her request or offer.

We rarely ask ourselves whether we have interpreted tone and body language accurately. And yet there is no single “right” interpretation within intercultural contexts, because all of us have learned to listen with what I call cultural ears and see with cultural eyes. By that I mean that we have been culturally conditioned about what tone and body language mean. As a result we are quick to believe that our interpretation is the “right” one and that it accurately reflects what the speaker actually intended. Not being aware of this can negatively influence intercultural relationships. I will give you a few examples to demonstrate what I mean.

A French client in one of my seminars told the group about the communication problems she was having with her British manager. During the exercises dealing with tone, she became aware of something that she had never noticed before; she realized that she was more upset by the tone her manager used when commenting on her work, than by the content of what he said. She realized that to her his tone sounded inauthentic and condescending. So it was not the fact of her manager’s culturally learned tone of speaking but rather her interpretation of his tone which was contributing to her difficulties. She agreed that she had been listening with cultural ears and had been convinced that she was right about him, especially since some of her French colleagues had agreed with her. Now she understood why they all had the same interpretation.

Another French client, who was investigating potential partnerships with Japanese suppliers, realized that he did not trust a Japanese sales representative’s sincerity and competence because she expressed her opinions very quietly, with averted eyes. In this case he was interpreting her body language to mean that the salesperson was not being honest with him. In his culture he had learned that you must look someone in the eyes to demonstrate trustworthiness. He did not take into account that in the Japanese culture it is considered impolite to speak loudly or make direct eye contact with the person you are speaking to. He was listening with French cultural ears and seeing with French cultural eyes when interpreting her tone and body language as being less than honest and not sufficiently invested in the product she was representing.

The point I am making is not that other cultures are a particular way but rather that each of us brings our own cultural guidelines to listening without even being aware of them. As my clients and seminar participants discover, it is not easy to adapt to not believing your own ears and eyes. In other words, it is difficult to accept that our way of interpreting tone and body language is not reliable within an intercultural context.

The fact is that all of us, native Anglophones included, automatically bring our culturally conditioned tone and body language to speaking English. As a Canadian, I can’t copy or interpret the tone and body language of a British, American, Australian, Irish or Scottish person any better than I can copy or interpret the tone and body language of someone from a non-Anglophone culture.

So when we’re speaking English as a common language within intercultural business contexts, I suggest we all practice ignoring tone and body language. That is what I call listening with intercultural ears and seeing with intercultural eyes. I realize it’s a radical suggestion but by learning to ignore tone and body language, it frees us to focus instead on just the content of what is being expressed. That way we avoid adding layers of misinterpretation. When using a foreign language with people from other cultures, interpreting the content accurately is already enough of a communication challenge. So I encourage you to simplify your intercultural communications by focusing on the heart of the matter – the content.

50 Actions you can take to enhance your interecultural communication skills

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A French client who was at the concert told me what she had said and was confused about what she meant. During our discussion it became clear how much we all listen with what I call cultural ears. As a Canadian, I heard what she said as meaning, “I’m having a bad hair day.” That is a common expression in North America but it makes absolutely no sense to the French, because they do not have an equivalent phrase. Translated literally my client heard, “I have evil hair.” However, my client pointed out that the French do have an expression about hair that I wasn’t familiar with, “J’ai mal aux cheveux.” This means that you have a headache due to drinking too much. By putting the word mal in the wrong place in the sentence, the meaning got lost.

Illustration by Fuschia MacAree

In France the disheveled hair look also has its own phrase, “saute du lit.” That means looking as if you just got out of bed and didn’t comb your hair before leaving the house. There are even French hair products and brushing techniques that can give you that casual look; in some circles and age groups, it is considered very fashionable.

It’s impossible to know what Lady Gaga intended to communicate but it’s an amusing example of the perils of intercultural communication. Meaning is often not in the words but in the cultural listening, which leads to confusion and misunderstanding. Sometimes there’s no equivalent word in other languages, something called a lexical gap.

For example, there’s a word in Japanese, age-tori, that means looking worse after a haircut (perhaps that’s the word Lady Gaga was reaching for). The illustration shown here is by Irish illustrator Fuchsia MacAree. On her site you’ll find illustrations for each letter of the alphabet, depicting lexical gaps in a variety of languages.

My advice? The next time you are disagreeing at work about what someone “really” meant, especially if they are from a different culture, remember Lady Gaga’s evil hair.

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In such situations most of my clients, who use English at an upper-intermediate to advanced level, tell me that they feel as if something is lacking. Some say that they miss their ability to speak eloquently, which they can’t seem to replicate no matter how much additional English vocabulary they learn. Others complain that what they like most about themselves is their ability to make jokes, which is impossible for them in English. While others insist that they sound more authoritative, or more persuasive, or simply more professional when using their mother tongue. Those that can’t clearly express what is missing nevertheless feel that they are losing a part of their identity when using English.

The Link Between Language and Identity in Intercultural Business

It is well known that language and our sense of self are closely linked. Many studies over the years have concluded that people change their personalities when they speak another language. Usually such studies are conducted by psychologists on people who are either bilingual or bicultural, which applies to half the world’s population, according to François Grosjean, author of Bilingual: Life and Reality.

When people are undergoing major life changes, the term identity crisis is often used. Identity crisis is a term created by Erik Erikson, who defined identity as “a subjective sense as well as an observable quality of personal sameness and continuity.”

So when my clients use English as a second language at work, and are in the process of adapting themselves to a new intercultural context, it is precisely this “personal sameness and continuity” that they miss. It is a break from what is known and habitual for them in their own language and culture. Consequently, they need to explore different ways of looking at themselves and how they relate to others.

While that exploration is a process all human beings undergo countless times during their personal and professional lives, few expect to have to go through such a process when working in another language for a multinational business in their own country or abroad. As a result, there are often few appropriate resources made available to employees to help them deal with identity issues.

This is one of the factors I assess when I conduct an intercultural communication audit with new clients. How much of a sense of loss are employees experiencing? That is a very personal and individual matter. While it is all too easy for everyone to say how optimistic he or she is about the enriching opportunity of working interculturally in a foreign language, not everyone sincerely feels that. Addressing the realities of people’s experiences helps them make the transition faster and more comfortably. Ideally, there can be group discussions about identity issues within teams or departments, which I routinely include in my intercultural communication seminars.

Only by addressing these concerns directly can we ask and answer a new kind of identity question: how can I build an intercultural identity and what am I gaining by doing so?

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I have been wondering lately what it would be like if the tables were turned. What if a client had to sell himself or herself to me? What would I be looking for in the ideal client? Here’s my wish list.

Curious

I love it when people are eager to investigate and want to learn more about themselves and others. Taking things at face value is easy but rarely provides an accurate picture; there’s always more to discover. Within intercultural contexts this willingness to investigate beyond what you think you know opens countless new possibilities for action and satisfaction.

Relational

I have seen in decades of training thousands of people, from dozens of cultures that regardless of their background there are those who care more about relationships than anything else. This doesn’t mean that they don’t also value other things but the essence of work and life for them is connecting with others. For people like that, the culture someone comes from, or what language they speak, is unimportant.

Thoughtful

I include both meanings of the word thoughtful:  first, to be considerate of the feelings and well being of others, and second, to think deeply about things. In complex situations such as intercultural business contexts, this way of functioning is essential.

Rugged

The image that accompanies this article visually captures the word rugged for me and implies a greater than average strength or power. Regardless of whether the situation requires emotional, physical, mental or spiritual strength or power, the outcome is predictable; a willingness to push themselves past their limits opens doors for such people that are closed to others. Of course, undergoing such strain is not to everyone’s taste. However, I am convinced that some degree of ruggedness is required if you want to face and conquer any challenge, including those involving intercultural communication.

Funny

If it sounds like I’m looking for a client that fits the profile of a saint, I’m not. Instead, I prefer to work with people who can laugh at themselves, joke with others and regularly see lightness where others see only heaviness. Since I spend many hours of my time with clients, I prefer funny.

While this is a short list, it sums up my ideal intercultural communication client. To be honest, this list isn’t theoretical but has instead been drawn from some of the incredible clients that I have had the privilege of working with over the years. I have shared some of their stories in my recently-published book, Dance of Opinions.  And it’s no secret that I’m looking forward to many more such “ideal” clients in the years ahead. You, perhaps.

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